Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
A bitchslap is in order.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
