You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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