It's just like the Real World with babies
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
not ubering you a puppy
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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