I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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