Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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