honey bunches of taint.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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