Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
