just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We left an ass print on the piano.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
