Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
false alarm. still invincible.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
