I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize