Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
