after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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