I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
