I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
