wrigley field is MILF paradise
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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