I cockslap morals
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm determined to sit on that face.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
