Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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