and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
