He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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