She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
