Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
