even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
