Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
