JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
