he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
