Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
