I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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