remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
