if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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