she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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