I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
