I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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