what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
