Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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