Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
