He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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