dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I love having hate sex.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
