moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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