If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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