How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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