my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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