Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
