Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
