I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
