How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
and she was petting her beer can
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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