Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
