At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
