i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
