hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Your penis caused this!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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