PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
