I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
nutella sex= disaster
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
