Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
