Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Let's get the cat blown out
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
